On Creativity and Writing

The ability to allow yourself to be creative is as important as breathing. It keeps you alive. Creativity is as necessary to personal vitality as water, as air, as beauty. Right now I'm thinking about the art of writing a diary, but it could be anything from creating table decorations to making music to tweaking that brownie recipe. Mmm…. 

Something about sitting down and letting your thoughts pour out onto paper creates new space in your head- clears out the cobwebs and spring-cleans the thought-mechanisms. Writing things down- letting out those long, rambling, often worried, sometimes scared, but always free-flowing thoughts is as important as eating to stay alive. Keeping your brain alive. Keeping your spirit alive. 

In this instant-access, multiple-choice, buy-one-get-one-free culture we forget to value our own inner workings. You have to feed your mind. Not fast food that goes in and sits like a blob of cement in your stomach, but nourishment that makes your body HUM with energy. 

So what is creativity, what does it mean to be creative? I suppose for me it is the ability to amuse myself, to create my own entertainment whether its through written words, melodies, picture drawing, making up stories about the people I see, imagining new color schemes for the living room,  the Best Pair of High Heeled Shoes Ever, the Most Scrumptious Chocolate Cake on the Planet, etc. 

I suppose some people (many people?) find creativity dangerous. The element of the unknown, the risky nature of not knowing quite what's going to happen when you start whatever the project is. The essential nature of creativity -  the acceptance of imagination and free thought - should be nurtured from early childhood, not starved. But that's more for another post... 

But really - when do we ever really know what's going to happen when we start something? We can plan, we can visualise, we can make model drawing and aim for a certain goal, yes. But life gets in the way- the ideas change, the value of whatever the project is changes, we, as people, change. 

So what is there, really, to be afraid of? 

Get out the paint set. Scribble down that rhyme. Rip up the carpet and polish those boards. Why not? What are you afraid of? 

Swimming

I recently started swimming again after many years of avoiding the pool. I had forgotten the feeling of one's body gliding through water, the comforting all-over ache once the swim has finished, the completely self-driven exercise, the wet solitude of repetitive motion whilst you keep up a rhythm, back and forth, back and forth, alone with your thoughts and the water. The wonderfully satisfying, all-over tiredness that comes from a brilliant workout. 

I'd forgotten how much I love swimming. 

I'd told myself it was too much effort to get the costume, the goggles, the earplugs etc. together. I'd told myself it was too much effort to make the trip to the pool, or the beach, or the lido... Told myself my bathing suit didn't fit right.... That I couldn't afford to pay the £5, and even decided I had a chlorine allergy (I don't, as it happens)... 

I'd forgotten how much I love swimming. 

I made a million excuses - privately, to myself- for not doing something that I really, really enjoyed as a kid, and which now (finally having gotten back into it) makes me feel great! 

I'd forgotten how much I love swimming. Have to say, I'm really glad I've remembered! 

It's a terrible shame to talk yourself out of doing things that you enjoy, and which you are perfectly capable of going out and doing… Why make life less enjoyable? What have you told yourself you "can't" do? 

Quick, Get Out in the Sun!

Living in London, I have found that being spontaneous is seriously important- especially when it comes to nice weather! You never know how long it's going to last - or if it will actually be warm and sunny at the time of year when it's MEANT to be warm and sunny, so the whole Do It While You Can thing is very, very important to remember (along with vitamin D tablets!). 

In the last ten years of living here in the U.K., I have had sunburns in March and been wearing my winter coat in July, seen hail storms in May and picnicked in December. Maybe it's global warming, maybe the weather has ALWAYS been this random in these parts -- but the point is, the minute you see sun, you've got to run outside and ENJOY IT! (Sneak a lunch break. Leave an hour early. Do whatever you have to do (and bring a brolly) but get out in the sun QUICK when you see it appear! You'll feel a heck of a lot better if you do (even if you're already feeling good) just from the shear spontaneity of it. Enjoy! 

The top picture of the tulips is from a lovely walk through Dulwich a couple weekends ago (gorgeous!) - and the lower photo of the rolling hills is from one of a few hikes I did whilst up in the Abergavenny area of Wales when I was performing at the Llantilio  Crossenny Festival last weekend. Gotta love that iPhone camera! Quick! Get out in the sun! xxx

Cake!

Ok, so sometimes this blog might not be as 'serious' as others... Realising, once again, that I have been procrastinating about writing another post because I was looking for something 'profound.' Well, today isn't about profound. Today is about CAKE.

Cake is very, very important to me and provides immediate happiness and satisfaction (when it's GOOD) - and can also make me annoyed, grumpy and frustrated (when it's BAD). Luckily, I have learned, over time, to spot the cakes (seriously, I am actually talking about cake) that will make me happy. The ones that obviously have been made with love, and are moist, flakey in the right way, and look incredibly enticing. Like this one which I found today at the wonderful Gentle Jane Tea Rooms just opposite Grosmont Castle in Wales.

(The cakes looked so good, I actually purchased a slice of the chocolate espresso cake to take home. This excites me a lot and am saving it for breakfast. Yes, that's right. Cake. For. Breakfast. #heckyeah)

I have to admit: I went to Grosmont to check out the castle and have a nice countryside walk whilst I'm here for the wonderful Llantilio Crossenny Festival ... but the cakes looked so good while I was having lunch, I rushed the walk so I could make it back in time to eat some! The rolling hills would have to wait.... ;-)

What Are You Waiting For?

Tonight at my gig at the 606 Club in Chelsea, I tried something I had never, ever done before - for the first time ever I read some of my poetry to an audience. I've always been too shy about it - but yeah, trying it out felt great. Really great! It has left me totally buzzing with energy and I want to do more, right now! But seeing as it's VERY late at night… probably not going to happen tonight! Ha. However I will, very soon, at least publish them up online…:-). Was pretty awesome to hear audience members' encouragements afterwards too. 

The funny thing about the poems, however - the way I write them, WHY I write them - it has nothing to do with the outside world. It's just stuff I need, personally, to get down on paper and out of my system. It's not about anything except itself. It's not about making money, or gaining approval. It's not a selfish thing. It's because some word, some phrase, has stuck in my head and I need to get it out on paper so it doesn't keep going round and round (you know, like when you get a tune stuck in your mind for hours?).  It's that sort of thing. Better out than in! So reading them out in front of people didn't occur to me as something I could do for a long time. Actually, to be fair, it wouldn't have occurred to me at all, except that a couple of friends heard me mention 'poems' and encouraged me to read them to them, privately, and then went on to suggest getting them out there into the Real World. Listen to your friends! (But do your research too…! Just thinking of all those stories of friends encouraging people to start restaurants because they are such good cooks, and then those poor, hapless cooks losing everything because they don't have the faintest inkling about the business side of things, or, potentially, aren't actually very good in the kitchen... Think 'Dragon's Den'. Do your market research FIRST and then get out there. But actually DO IT - don't just say you're going to. Do it because you need to do it! And get more than one opinion! Having said that, though… Personally, you are usually your own harshest critic (or at least, I certainly am) so if you actually come up with something you feel is ok, it probably IS ok. Or even….GOOD. But yeah, get some second opinions…!).  

Thinking about it, there are so many situations, so many things I hold myself back from trying out, even though I kind of wish I wasn't (obviously some things are probably best left untried!) but others - what am I waiting for? A sign from the skies? The weather to be 'right'? The three-and-a-half million little boring tasks accomplished (which honestly, I've never do, but have promised myself I'll get done first BEFORE I do whatever it is)? To suddenly, miraculously, feel less shy and scared of whatever it is? I'm not talking about only one aspect of life. I'm talking straight-across-the-board. I guess it has partly to do with being a creature of habit - you know, like when you order the same item off the menu in a restaurant, every single time you go there, because you know it's going to be good, but secretly, you're bored of whatever that item is, but you're playing it safe? I reckon there's a certain amount of good, old-fashioned fear.  Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of learning more than you bargained about yourself. Fear of learning that actually, you ARE a pretty duff cook, and you shouldn't have spent your life savings on a restaurant. Well, heck. At least you've tried it! And learned a powerful lesson (do your research = get more than one opinion!.. FYI I do sort of speak from experience here.. I ran my own cookie company for nearly a year, and had a great product, that was never in question - they always sold out at farmer's markets and trade shows etc. nearly every time I sold them - but I realllllllly didn't understand the business side of things, spent way too much time and money on ingredients and preparation, then made a pretty impressive LOSS that year… Anyone (HA!) wants to help on the business side to get that little project going again do feel free to get in touch! Ha… But anyway! I've stilll got the recipes, and maybe someday I'll learn to handle the business side of a small fresh food business. But that particular urge isn't strong enough to act on. YET…. )… 

Back to the original idea of the blog today…   

The funny thing is, a lot of the time, I don't even realise I'm reigning myself in unnecessarily until AFTER I've (finally) tried whatever it is. Like, WOW, Oh My, Hey! This is FUN! Why has it taken me TEN YEARS to try it? (Best not to dwell on that question, at least it's finally been tried…!). Like sailing. I learned to sail a couple years ago - having had that on my list to try for more than ten years. TEN years. Because it was never the right time… Until I MADE it the right time. And now I can do it! WHAT FUN!… 

Anyway, the thing is, if somebody asked me to make a list of things that I wanted to try and haven't been brave enough to try yet - I couldn't.  The process of denial is so ingrained. Often, it's only when someone else mentions doing said-task that I think, 'Hey, oh, yeah! I wanted to try that!' or 'DANG! I've been meaning to do that for ages but I've been TOO SCARED.' Well. What am I waiting for? 

I guess the first step is recognising the signs - listening to those tiny, inner voices whispering 'Hey! We're in here, and we NEED TO DO THIS' - ok, so they'll start shouting eventually. Learning to acknowledge that inner self - learning to listen to the desire to write poetry for example, and the desire to share it with the world. Or the desire to memorise the names of all fifty states so you get that question right in the pub quiz. Or WHATEVER… 

What are you waiting for? 

Spring's arrived!

Well, spring seems to have finally arrived, just! What a relief! 

It's been such a long, cold winter, even the tiniest hint of sun is enough to make me want to immediately stop and RUN outside. Today, that's meant dashing in between the raindrops - but I did manage to get a lovely walk in the local park, some gorgeous views of the city from the top of the hill, and some quality bird-watching... (why do birds stand on one-leg?! Ha. Who knows. But it makes me giggle!).

Was really glad I took the time - and felt much better for it too. I find a nice, brisk walk out in the sun (okay, there was a short rain shower too, but lalalalala we'll skip over that) is (nearly) as good as a strong cup of coffee to wake me up! I have now headed to my favourite cafe for the coffee as well (My name is Kai Hoffman. And I am a coffee addict! "Hello, Kai!"...).  

Going from day to day, making my own schedule outside of gigs, I'm always looking for ways to keep motivated. I was searching the other day on the web and found this really fascinating article about positive action, not just thinking (http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2012/jun/30/self-help-positive-thinking).  The ideas about confidence and willpower are especially interesting to me, as a performer and also as a teacher.  I often get asked about confidence on stage, speaking to the audience, being up in front of a room full of strangers - and it's all about 'acting as if' (as it talks about in the article). So I've been trying out some of the suggestions, what have you got to lose, right? I suppose the only thing is, remember if you're in a crowd etc., and you're making a fist to try and increase your willpower (so as to avoid buying chocolate, for example) it may come across as aggressive, instead of a massive internal battle between  yourself and your chocolate craving…! There are of course questions of dignity too... but 'acting as if' can also be highly, highly effective!). 

Anyway, going to keep it brief today as I'm just preparing for another short trip - I decided a month or so ago to go ahead and book a flight to see some friends in Germany who I haven't seen in ages and ages, going along with the 'Do It While You Can' principle - I had the days off, and the flight was soooo reasonable… here's hoping the spring weather continues! 

So, wherever you are this weekend, wishing you some sunshine! Do it while you can! 

All the best, 

Kai xx

How Do You Recharge?

How do you recharge? 

For weeks I was feeling completely run down, but pressed on because I simply had to - exciting deadline looming: my album launch of Do It While You Can.  There was lots of work to do, lots of pressure to get it right. Pushed myself HARD. Really hard. And finally, once the performance was over - I felt TIRED. So tired, I felt like I could sleep for a week (or five) but knew that wasn't really an option. Knew there were plenty of other important dates coming up, that the workload was only just beginning - and that if I wasn't careful, I simply wouldn't recharge at all - I'd just carry on working. Ever had that feeling? That you are so absorbed and excited by whatever it is that you are doing, that you just don't notice the time passing? When you don't want to stop (and don't stop) even when you are totally wiped out, slowing down and really ought to have a breather? It is exhilarating... and EXHAUSTING! 

Don't get me wrong, it is absolutely awesome to have a job that I love so much. I have done a million different things in the past, to varying degrees of success (I got fired from THREE waitressing jobs, for example), and this is it. I truly love being a singer, performing and working in the music business.  New ideas are always flying around, there are a million directions to go in, it's very, very exciting… on the downside, I forget to eat. I forget to sleep. I forget to relax! 

Note: If you have found a job you love, congratulations!!! Rock on.  If you haven't, don't give up looking. Make sure you are keeping the wolves from the door - DON'T give up your day job, not unless you really can afford to, or have found another job which is more like what you want to be doing - but make the time to keep searching for the things that really make you tick. (Good read: 'Ignore Everybody and 39 Other Keys to Creativity' by Hugh MacLeod). Sometimes trial and error is the only way. The vast majority of us have to work for a living - so find what you love to do. It is more satisfying than anything else on the planet!!! 

Rule of thumb: if it feels wrong, it IS wrong. 

Anyway I digress! Back to recharging. 

For more than ten years, I have been living in the massive, spectacular, relentless city of London - and occasionally, it just gets too much. I miss trees. And fields. And especially - and above all else - the ocean. I grew up by the ocean. The ocean is the one place - whichever ocean it is - where I know I can recharge, refuel, and return to my daily life feeling super-relaxed and ready to get back into the swing. WHERE IS YOUR REFUGE? 

Whenever anything big has happened in my life - massive, life-altering choices, stressful times, sad times, hectic times - I escape to the sea. Even a few hours on a beach, or by the ocean, walking, near the water - seeing the waves, the surf, the reflection of the sun on the water - smelling the salty sea air and hearing the gulls - is enough - even for a few hours - to bring me back down to earth. To reconnect me to the world, to ground me, to allow me to escape everything for just a little while. 

It amazes me just how effective one day of escape can be. One day. One day away from yourself. Away from your daily grind, whatever that grind may be, is enough to rejuvenate just a little bit. To recharge your battery so that you can enjoy that daily world again. 

I am all about these little escapes! 

I remember reading about 'artist's dates' in the Artist's Way by Julia Cameron - where you take yourself to a museum, or a walk, somewhere you can be gently lured away from the nagging everyday thoughts that keep you from feeling creative. I had been taking myself on these 'dates' for a long while before reading about this concept - but it really, really works. When things are too much, and you're too exhausted but you just can't stop - STOP.  (You CAN stop. Really!!!). But I guess what I'm getting at is: it's not just about creativity. It's not just about writing a play, or starting a novel, or creating a work of art. It's about living your life. LIVING YOUR LIFE. Remembering to look up from the screen now and again, to take a deep breath in and out. To stand up, walk a few feet away, and look at things from a different perspective. It really works. And it breathes new life, new vitality, into everything you do. You come back fresher, more awake, more alive and ready to dig back in to whatever it is you spend your time doing. 

I realise this may seem impossible in your particular situation: be it kids, partners, work schedules, play dates, lack of funds, lack of WHATEVER. The fact is: you need to make the time. Even an hour (or ten minutes !!!!) of doing something completely unrelated to whatever you  are currently absorbed in will help you to recharge. If you are still saying 'it can't happen, there's no chance' - sorry, but that's YOU telling yourself you can't. You have decided to perceive that your situation is utterly inflexible - your opinion. You make up your own reality. FACT. Find the time. You will be a happier person if you do.

A few days ago, I was exhausted - had just launched Do It While You Can, my new album, and had been working my butt off for months and months - and felt like I needed to sleep for WEEKS to recover. And.. instead of doing that - because, frankly, I was too tired to actually sleep - I took a day off. I turned off my phones, I did NOT check facebook, or twitter, or even my emails - I went 'off the grid' as a friend of mine calls it. And man, it was GREAT. I took one day, hopped in the car after a nice long lie-in, and drove to the sea. One of my favourite places on earth: Birling Gap, near Seven Sisters Country Park, in Sussex. Some of the most beautiful coastline in the world! It took a while to get there, but I really enjoyed the drive - the scenery as it changed from city to country, the rolling hills and trees, hedgerows and gorgeous villages of Kent, then Sussex. Finally arrived at the car park, added about a million extra layers of clothing (it was FOUR DEGREES with 12-15mph winds. Brrrrrrr!!!!!) and then I went for a lovely, long walk along the cliffs. Over one hour to the east, along the top of the cliffs, past two lighthouses, with a constant view of the sea - and no one for company except the occasional, brave seagull (too cold for them too, I reckon!) then an hour back - and caught the sunset for the entire way back. It was invigorating, FREEZING, and totally cleared my head. When I arrived back at the car park, I headed down to the beach itself, went for a stroll along the rocks and got some gorgeous photos of the sun going down. I was so glad I had four layers of clothing on, because it was really cold - but frankly, the scenery was so spectacular I wouldn't have noticed too much if I had been freezing! 

Anyway, the plan was to find somewhere for a nice meal on the way back. Having spent the entire afternoon wandering the gorgeous coastline, I headed back North towards (eventually) London - had an amazing pub meal at The Hare in Tunbridge Wells (courtesy of a few minutes googling from the safety and warmth of the car after my walk! http://www.brunningandprice.co.uk/hare/), and eventually found myself back home in London. And I felt amazing, totally recharged! Slept wonderfully that night, and woke up raring to go! 

How do you recharge? You've got to Do It While You Can! xx

Do It While You Can!

Why am I starting a blog? 

While I was working on Do It While You Can, my new album, and the very first one I've done completely on my own (with complete control over every aspect -so many choices!!!), I realised, as the songs came together, and as the process started to take longer and longer, stretching into months and then becoming years - very easily done, when there's SO much to choose from, and you really want to get it right - that the title was something I needed to personally apply to everything in my life! I am a very, very good procrastinator - and can easily never, ever get around to doing something. I get completely overwhelmed by anything that seems daunting, and time-consuming - and can put things off indefinitely, constantly telling myself I'll get around to whatever it is eventually. You know that feeling, when there's so much to do that you actually run away and do nothing? I'm an expert at that! 

So. Having finally managed to actually come to the finished product stage of the album (which feels AMAZING, by the way!!!) I wanted to share my own personal, daily challenges with Doing It While You Can - in every aspect of my life, not just music. The feeling of actually having the finished album in my hands is so intense, and satisfying, I am feeling completely driven and full of energy.  Rather than making me want to rest, and recover from having been working so hard, I want to do more and more! IT'S BRILLIANT! 

I hope that over time, through my blog posts as they come, you might also be inspired to get out there and DO whatever it is that you've been wanting to do, thinking about, or meaning to try - whether it's taking that trip or finishing that novel, writing that text message or entering that competition - whatever area of your life you have been putting off! Because the fact is, life is what it is. The only thing you can control is how you react to it - how you shape your days, how you choose to feel. There's no time to waste - and plenty of experiences to be had! 

If you'd like to comment and share your stories, I'd be very interested to hear them -and maybe together we can get out there and Do It While We Can!